Good-bye Letters

Thursday, August 29

8-29By Lu Mountenay of Independence, Missouri, USA

Do not be discouraged. You have not been promised an easy path, but you have been assured that the Spirit that calls you will also accompany you.

—Doctrine and Covenants 162:3a

My dear hummingbirds,

At the end of summer I ask, “Is this my last day with you? Will you come again tomorrow?” My fear of you leaving corrupts our time together.

Each morning I sit on the patio, expecting, hoping, and yet aware of the possibility you won’t come. But I didn’t say good-bye! And then again, saying good-bye would have been too final, would have meant giving you up.

I must say good-bye and wish you safe journey. I’ll be at peace with it…and what a surprise if you do show up for yet another visit to the feeder. Blessings—I’ll be waiting for you in the spring.

* * * * *

I write this as I sit in my son’s hospital room during the last week of his life. We had so much faith that he would survive, but now we finally believe the doctor when he says Zac will be gone any day.

So I listen to him breathe. We keep talking to him, even though we aren’t sure he can hear us. If there is the slightest possibility he can, I want him to know we are here and how much we love him. So with every ragged breath he takes, I ask God, “Is this my last day with him? Will he still be here tomorrow?”

My dear, dear son,

My fear of you leaving corrupts my time with you, and so I didn’t say good-bye while you were still conscious. I didn’t want to see the fear in your eyes when you saw what we knew. It would be too final. However, now I must say good-bye and wish you safe journey. I have no choice. I’ll try to be at peace with it, even though I know you won’t return in the spring. My darling son, wait for me in my winter. Go with God.

Prayer for Peace
Comforter God, be with us in our dark night of the soul. Lift us to your healing light. Send companions for our journey. Thank you for our community of peace.

Spiritual Practice: Tears of Compassion
Offer a silent prayer for the gift of God’s compassion. Cup your hands and ask God to make you aware of the suffering that causes the Earth and its people to groan and weep. Be open to faces or places, sounds or voices; feelings of connection with those who suffer. Imagine catching the tears of those you see and holding them in your hands. Listen for prayer images or words God may give you. Discern any active responses of ministry or healing you are invited to complete for those who weep.

Peace Covenant
Today, God, I will seek someone who needs comforting.

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3 Comments

  1. Colleen Leonard

     /  29 August 2013

    Oh, Lu, I am so deeply sorry! You have written a beautiful tribute to your son. May God bless you richly. Colleen Leonard, sister in evangelists.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Denise Leichter

     /  29 August 2013

    Dearest Lu,

    I began reading with a smile because we love our hummingbirds and are grateful for them every day, and then the smile turned to tender tears with the story of your loved son and loss. You touched me deeply, and your ministry is greatly appreciated.

    Peace and Blessings, Denise Leichter, SCMC

    On Wed, Aug 28, 2013 at 11:15 PM, Daily Bread

  3. Jewell

     /  29 August 2013

    Oh Lu…such pain so beautifully written.

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