Return to Me

Tuesday, July 1

Painting by Vera Entwistle

Painting by Vera Entwistle

By Vera Entwistle of Fort Collins, Colorado, USA

Collectively and individually, you are loved with an everlasting love that delights in each faithful step taken. God yearns to draw you close so that wounds may be healed, emptiness filled, and hope strengthened.

—Doctrine and Covenants 163:10a

Following my father’s suicide, I was bereft. I was angry with God, and I felt unable to pray. I was alone, drifting in my grief—afraid of running aground. One day my counselor asked me to sit facing an empty chair. “Imagine your dad sitting there. What do you think he would say to you?”

My dad’s image came to me so powerfully that I wept. I saw myself as a young child, distressed over some perceived hurt. My dad picked me up and comforted me. For the first time I could sense the distress my dad may feel, watching me wallowing in my grief, and I knew that for his sake I needed to pick up the pieces of my life and go on. But how?

After my counselor left, I again sat facing the empty chair. This time I visualized God sitting there. I demanded that God show me how I possibly could go on.

I felt prompted to turn to the scriptures, and I began to search for comfort. As I turned page after page, one sentence stood out: “God yearns to draw you close so wounds may be healed, emptiness filled, and hope strengthened.” In that moment, I began to heal.

Prayer for Peace Healer of wounds, help us always to keep our prayer contact with you. Help us pray, even when we are angry. Do not leave us alone in our grief. Draw us close. Give our hearts peace.

Spiritual Practice: Healing and Reconciliation Gather a small mound of stones. Meditate on the stones as symbols of differences and destructive acts that continue to separate and wound the human family. Name and anoint each “stone wound” with a drop of water or scented oil. Offer them to God in a prayer for healing and reconciliation.

Peace Covenant Today, God, I will pray when I am empty, and I will pray when I am full.

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4 Comments

  1. Tamara Taylor-Hillyer

     /  1 July 2014

    I lost my sister Paula this year and this has been so hard. I had similar thoughts about how they care for us on the other side and don’t want us lose ourselves in our grief. It’s so easy for grief to turn to depression and I didn’t want this to happen. I feel much better in recent days and have been feeling that healing process with God’s help. Love and peace to you Vera in your healing as well. Cindy Push mentioned Guthrie Grove? I was there as a child as well!!!

  2. Lu Mountenay

     /  1 July 2014

    Beautiful painting, Vera.

  3. Cindy Christiansen Push

     /  1 July 2014

    Thank you for sharing! I still remember as a youth you and Brian being in the Omaha CB area. Some of the songs that we still sing at Guthrie, I remember you leading 🙂

  4. Sharon Norris Sharon Norris

     /  1 July 2014

    Good to read your testimony Vera!!
    Love you guys bunches. Give Brian a hug for me.

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